Such a small word and such a big deal. Ego starts forming around 12th-18th month of our existence and doesn’t complete until we are around 29 years of age.
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Being in the here and now. Asking from the here and now, responding from the here and now. Truly masterful trait. When in that zone the connection is instant, goes deep, allows for a feast of true sharing. Anything can land on the fertile ground of no judgment.
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Are you ready to lead from a new plane? Can you let go of the notion that you know? By asking questions you harvest the wisdom of the room, you open people up, you delegate fully, which frees you up to engage with your peers and those above to enable your personal growth.
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I coached groups enabling them to self-negotiate team contracts so they are set to flourish. To baseline the status quo I asked them to think of an imago of the current state of their team. My tools, rolling on the table, were colourful crayon, pens and pencils borrowed from my 3yrs old daughter and A4 plain shits of paper.
With clarifying questions, I stayed on: think for yourselves, let’s use your creative brains; if you closed your eyes and thought of your team what image comes up.
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Reflecting on how to cultivate a coaching state of being and touch, move and inspire people in every conversation. Key ingredients come to mind:
1. Self-transformation– being on a never ending journey oneself. Knowing first hand maturing rite of passage and its pains, relapses and rewards.
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Most of us are brilliant at staying with our world views, opinions, behaviours, thought processes, convictions. We stick to those as if our survival depended on it … and in the past perhaps it did. To enable any movement from the past created selves and open up for what we could become …
Read MoreBoth are learnable. With charisma the energy and attention is on you, with presence it’s on the other. Charisma is a comfortable basking in a spotlight and building followership for your passions, ideas and a path forward. It’s harvesting the energy of the room.
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All we have is words and how our meaning making machine – the mind – works. Being authentic with oneself, however hard, is the beginning of self-awareness that leads to transformation. Than talking back to that little voice yapping away in your head and taming it, sometimes in no uncertain terms.
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Have you ever recorder yourself to listen to your world? – From listening carefully we can learn a lot about a person. We can get to know their learning preference (auditory, visual, kinaesthetic, olfactory …), which can help us influence them.
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